'I sent an email to his manager pretending to be a journalist': 40 Stunning confessions from ordinary people

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Aug 31, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

These people have some truly startling confessions to share. Luckily for them, no one will ever know their little secrets, because they submitted these secrets anonymously. 

Fesshole is a popular Twitter account dedicated to collecting and sharing people's secrets. Each day, numerous folks submit their confessions, but some are much crazier than others. Plus, some people's secrets are so specific that if their spouse reads the page, they will absolutely find it. 

One genius secret from this week is the person who manages a sneaky nap during work hours. Since they work from home, they tell their family they're about to be in a meeting. They also pencil that into their work calendar, so the boss thinks they're busy. Then, they put on a YouTube video of a council meeting, and it's into dreamland they go! This person claims to somehow get a nice nap in during business hours, all under the guise of working. How does one get a job like this?! (Asking for a friend!) Where are all of you getting jobs that let you sleep the day away? Hopefully that dude continues their sleeping habits without getting caught, because that really is a great (if unintentional) company perk. 

After you check out these awesome confessions below, read about one video game store employee who actually got fired for following the rules. 

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  • 01
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole My daily coffee order changes semi-frequently. I happened to order the same drink a few times when a specific barista took my order. He now thinks it's my usual order and makes it when he sees me. I don't have the heart to tell him this. I'm sick of that order now.
    via Taisiia Shestopal on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole My job is restoring and reprinting old photographs. If there's a house or trees in the background, I occasionally add a ghostly child's face in a window, or a figure amongst the trees. You can only see them if you look really close or with a magnifying glass.
    via @fesshole
  • 03
    Product - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I'm a bus driver and there's no better feeling than speeding up to miss someone who's running for the bus
    via @fesshole
  • 04
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Client spent about £300 to have me on a Teams call. I spent most of the time drawing slices of bread with sad faces.
    via @fesshole
  • 05
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... My daily coffee order changes semi-frequently. I happened to order the same drink a few times when a specific barista took my order. He now thinks it's my usual order and makes it when he sees me. I don't have the heart to tell him this. I'm sick of that order now.
    via @fesshole
  • 06
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I travel a lot across Europe with work. Sometimes I wear a vicars dog collar to try and get an upgrade at the airport. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.
    via @fesshole
  • 07
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... My wife is French and I wooed her by using lines from Blackadder, which she'd never seen. She thought I was brilliantly funny. My kids wouldn't exist without Ben Elton, Richard Curtis and Rowan Atkinson.
    via @fesshole
  • 08
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Started a house cleaning job. Owner judges how good a job I've done by the fullness of her vacuum cleaner bag. I've started taking dust from my place.
    via @fesshole
  • 09
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... I cheated too badly during family zoom quiz's in lockdown, now my family is convinced I'm a genius at general knowledge. Every time I go back home my step dad tries to convince me to join his regular pub quiz team thinking we'll win - I'm running out of excuses
    via @fesshole
  • 10
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole When at uni, we disliked a housemate so much that friend and I cleaned the house spotless with lavender scented everything, her least favourite smell. Petty and practical.
    via @fesshole
  • 11
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I've reached the age where I have to put on my glasses to have a shave. No one warned me about this
    via @fesshole
  • 12
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I left my long term girlfriend of 10 years because I noticed her eyes wouldn't always blink at the same time and it freaked me out
    via @fesshole
  • 13
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... I'm no genius, but I have an above average IQ. It's was only a few months back when the fire brigade came to access the water supply in the street that I realised the back of the engine isn't full of water. I'm amused by my stupidity, but can't tell anyone.
    via @fesshole
  • 14
    Mammal - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I've enjoyed statutory paternity leave for 4 out of the last 5 years. I'm single and don't have any kids. Work have never checked for proof of an actual baby, but just to be safe I have a Googled random baby as my phone screensaver and change it every time I become a "Dad"
    via @fesshole
  • 15
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... Whenever there is a spider or a fly high on the wall or ceiling that neither I nor my cat can reach we team up and I hold him up high to get it. It doesn't always work but when it does he purrs so much. Sorry bugs.
    via @fesshole
  • 16
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole When WFH, to avoid wife/kids/dog I say have a meeting, shut the door then play recordings of local council meetings on YouTube on loud. I then put a private appointment my Outlook calendar so I appear busy, then fall asleep for a while.
    via @fesshole
  • 17
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... Signed up to a dating site and accidentally used the card for our joint account via Apple Pay. Threw my phone away and later reported it stolen, only to find out it went on the bill as Apple Store. Went looking for phone but gone.
    via @fesshole
  • 18
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole If I have to call a company's customer care with a problem, I usually ask them to hang on for a sec, while I pretend I've been interrupted, I then proceed to whisper "I'm on a Mystery Shopping call". They think I'm checking their service, and I always get 110% from that person
    via @fesshole
  • 19
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Mrs bought a fancy frying pan and said we can't put it in the dishwasher. So I put it in the dishwasher when she's a work and take it out before she gets home. Been a year. She hasn't noticed.
    via @fesshole
  • 20
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Started plane spotting as a hobby recently, it's really fun, but what's even more fun is ping off the plane fanatics in Facebook groups. Once caused an 120 comment long argument because I said that Concorde was overrated.
    via @fesshole
  • 21
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I am obsessed by these ridiculous irritatingly compelling cleaning/jet washing/mowing timelapse videos that have popped up all over my social media feeds. To the exclusion of speaking to other people. Like my family. Or doing anything else. Like my job. Or parenting.
    via @fesshole
  • 22
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... Im a straight man, however I have an enormous crush on my mechanic, every little minor squeak and rattle my car makes I bring it to him just as an excuse to see him. My girlfriend is urging me to get a new car as my current one is "so unreliable".
    via @fesshole
  • 23
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole About a third of my gym kit is stuff that someone else left behind in the changing rooms. Only the expensive brands, and it gets put on a hot wash a few times before I wear it. Can't decide if this is frugal or gross. Daren't tell anyone.
    via @fesshole
  • 24
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I don't wear headphones when I work from home because I need to hear my husband coming upstairs so I can hide my secret snacks ●●●
    via @fesshole
  • 25
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I love my partner of 11 years. The main reason I haven't asked her to marry me is that I'd be expected to dance in front of people while they watch.
    via @fesshole
  • 26
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I have occasionally pretended to go to work and instead go on a secret hike by myself in the woods. I love hiking and my partner hates it.
    via @fesshole
  • 27
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I haven't used a coin in trolleys for years since discovering that a car/house key works just as well. Give it a wiggle side to side to side in the slot and you're good to go.
    via @fesshole
  • 28
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I still follow the venue where we held our wedding reception on Facebook, mainly to see if any of the brides marrying there are more attractive than my wife. Nine years later and the answer is no.
    via @fesshole
  • 29
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole My sisters boyfriend is an arrogant pl earning £100k a year and boasts how he gets ChatGPT to do his whole job. I sent an email to his manager pretending to be a journalist on how Al is taking over the industry, and mentioned him by name.
    via @fesshole
  • 30
    Mammal - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Went swimming this morning, some teenagers were kicking a bin around in the changing room, being obnoxious. I waited until theyd gone into the pool, noted they'd not used lockers. Best quid I ever spent was locking 1 each of their trainers in a locker. I still have the key.
    via @fesshole
  • 31
    Organism - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I fitted a 165db train horn to my van. Confession should stop there really. But when I tested it, it wouldn't shut off. I'm now pretty much deaf in both ears, dizzy all the time and can't drive.
    via @fesshole
  • 32
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole My partner counts her remaining chocolate squares so I can't steal any. So I have to replace the entire bar after I've eaten it without her knowing. If she'd share we wouldn't be living this lie.
    via @fesshole
  • 33
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Company uses a well-known flexible office provider. I've been working from all the different sites in London. Colleagues think I'm meeting clients. Truth is I'm addicted to taking cuttings from the office provider's incredible collection of house plants.
    via @fesshole
  • 34
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Single at 54 after 34 years. Dating app. Paid to see the 12 women who liked me. 12! I felt good. All nice and so I swiped left on all of them. Since then I have learnt it's swipe "right for like," but I've had no more likes.
    via @fesshole
  • 35
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I've worked out that over the past year I have knowingly not paid £31.20 for shop carrier bags
    via @fesshole
  • 36
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole 28 year old man who recently had a first date with a 43 year old woman. I'm not worried about the age gap, but for our second date she has suggested going to the cinema and I have no idea how to tell her the only thing I fancy seeing right now is the new Ninja Turtles movie.
    via @fesshole
  • 37
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole The best thing I have ever bought in terms of bringing me joy, is an old banger of a car, for £120, which I use exclusively to drive around at night scraping against cars parked like ds.
    via @fesshole
  • 38
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Out one night, met a young lady and went back to hers to finish the evening. Left in the morning giving her a fake number and telling her I'd see her again. Forward two weeks, job interview, she's on the interview panel. Most awkward hour of my life. I didn't get the job.
    via @fesshole
  • 39
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Walking home smashed one night I saw a cat and started stroking it. Cat loved it. Cat followed me all the way home. Woke up the next morning and cat was asleep on the couch next to me. Four years later I still have said cat. Called him Rusty. I love that little ginger bl d.
    via @fesshole
  • 40
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole A colleague has just broken down crying, telling me his partner has left him. At work, he leaves used teaspoons next to the sink and there is always sugar all over the place after he's made a cup of tea. I have every sympathy with his ex-partner - he fking deserves it.
    via @fesshole
  • 41
    Mammal - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ●●● I run an online shop with my wife. When a big order comes in, full of expensive items, we look up their address out of curiosity, esp if it's in London, admire the property, check last sale price & check what their job is. Don't pretend you wouldn't do the same.
    via @fesshole

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